I gained clarity and continue postings here!

I have been a bit confused whether to write here in my mother tonque Estonian or in English or both and therefore I haven't really put my energy here so much as I wanted.

Now I gained some clarity and started two blogs - this one here is in English and focussed on creating Life-serving systems. Another one will be in Estonian and focused on growing together with my little sweetheart - my 4-years old granddaughter Keiti Marii.

So I hope you'll find some inspiration and encouragment while reading about my journey!

Living in Present - Here and Now!

I celebrate catching myself from my thought-pattern another day! Thought pattern that brought me to the future and to the fears what might happen in the future! I really celebrate noticing this thread of my thoughts!

Here is the story!
I am beautifully involved with a man and we spend may hours every day talking and connecting! One day I caught myself from thought:"IF we go on spending so much time talking to each other then ONE DAY this might become a burden for one of us!" And shortly after noticing this thought - I figured out that this ONE DAY might never come! And if I start to believe my initial thought about "IF..." I most probably would choose strategy that will deprive both of us from what we need right NOW! We would miss the Life Here and Now becouse of "WHAT IF..."! Wouldn't that be a tragedy!? So instead of letting me be carried away from here and now by this "WHAT IF..."-thought I chose to make a new path - follow the life in me and enjoy each other and our connection as long as it meets both of our's needs!!! And then we will deal with this "ONE DAY" when it comes!!!

with warm greetings in celebration and deep gratitude to my teachers and fellow travellers in Life!

Merike

Life serving structures - my learnings from this summer

The contributions that people have made to support my participation in North America NVC Leadership programme July retreat combined with my own ressourses have made it possible to gather many learnings during this summer from different groups in US and Europe. Following will be my notes and conclusions about my learning and understanding about Life serving structures and systems. It is not complete list as it is an evolving document growing together with me and my understanding.

• Structure influences behaviour!
  

It seems very hard if not impossible to operate in a new way while a structures in organisations or groups remain the same (read: dominative). People might have strong wish to to things differently (in a partnership way - look at the definitions from Riane Eisler's work "Power of Partnerhip") but if structure does not support it - those efforts seem to run into sand no matter how hard we try! For example if there is beautiful vision and mission statements worked out but no room is made in the structure (ie daily schedule, monthly routines etc) to implement those new things they will most likely die out and not manifest. For example - I find it very important to have good quality empathy available for my co-workers regularly but if this just remains as my intention and I will not create room in our days as well as provide ressourses (people with certain skills and finances to hire such people) my intention will most likely not become alive.

I suggest to you K.Byron "Don't be Nice, be Real" and M.B.Rosenberg "Life Enriching Education" to read in order to learn what kind of structures we need to support life serving systems.

• Approach to money and other ressourses
  

In life serving systems we need to change our attitude towards money. From seeing money as reward towards seeing money as "nourishment for organism" or one way to meet needs. In my opinion it is radical shift in consciousness and it creates totally different atmosphere and energy. It is shift from "scarcity thinking" (there is not enough for everyone) to "abundance thinking" (there is enough to meet everyone's needs). Shift from "deserve" mentality (some people are deserved certain amount of money, appreciation, love etc) towards "what serves needs best" mentality.

• High trust culture
  

Honesty & openness - willingness to take risks to be vulnerable, to be true first to yourself and then to your colleagues seems crucial while creating trust in a group. There are things that leaders can do in order to support group become more mature and open. And it is also a matter of personal maturity, skills of knowing oneself and connecting with oneself and having inner security.

Reliability - making, keeping or breaking agreements with care towards every part involved. Including or rather starting with personal reliability towards myself.

I have got a lot of inspiration from S.R.Covey work www.speedoftrust.com & "The four Disciplines of Execution."

• Leadership

I have met in many so called "spiritual groups" fenomena that I would call "fear for leadership". It seems to me that we have so much pain around how we have been experiencing leadership in dominative structures that we tend to deny the role and need for leadership at all. At the same time in my experience it is not possible to give away a role of leader if there isn't one who is taking it. For example if you are the one who has been initiating an event or group etc then you have been taking the role of leader whether you admit this fact or not. You put some of you resourses into it and you have certain power. (Power by itself is nor good neither bad - it is rather how do I as a leader use my power. It is leader's choice if to use it as "power-over" or to use it as "power with".)

will be continued...

Since my laptop does not give any lifesignes after arriving to California - my writings here during next moth will be most likely more seldom than I would enjoy!

with warm greetings

Merike

MY ASKING CAN BE A GIFT...

I have chosen to be this year participant in Bay NVC (non-violent communication) Leadership programme. This programme is immensly contributing to my personal growth as well to my skills as An NVC teacher and leader and connection with programme participants from all over US and Canada is very important for me! Being a first NVC trainer in my country feels time to time quite lonely!

I have failed to receive support by some grants and as a young Social Enterpreneur I find it difficult at this period of my life to finance it all by myself. So I
decided to approach to my friends and colleagues all around the globe to ask for support.

I feel gratitude and awe for responses that I have got so far to my requests!

I celebrate that many people have expressed that my asking is gift for them – it helps them to remember that there is support available if we need it and it is
giving for them possibility to contribute to more peaceful world!

I feel deep gratitude to people who have chosen to support me so that my trip to July retreat can happen!

REQUEST

I still need to finance my next retreat in October, so
a) if you would enjoy contribute your flying miles (to order me tickets for your surplus flying miles) to support my travel from Estonia to Bay area in US to Leadership programm October
retreat or ,

b) if you would enjoy donate money (ie it would work out beautifully if 30 people will choose to make a gift of 50 USD per person)

I would like to invite you to look deep inside yourself and choose your contribution from place of pure joy of giving from your heart!

In partnership and cooperation

Merike

Money As Debt

Paul Grignon's 47-minute animated presentation of "Money as Debt" tells in very simple and effective graphic terms what money is and how it is being created. It is an entertaining way to get the message out. The Cowichan Citizens Coalition and its "Duncan Initiative" received high praise from those who previewed it. I recommend it as a painless but hard-hitting educational tool and encourage the widest distribution and use by all groups concerned with the present unsustainable monetary system in Canada and the United States.

Gifts from Mjösjöliden

Dear Liv, Kay and Neo!

• I am grateful to you for sharing your home with me!
• I am grateful for lessons of care. Have experienced care for every living being - love in action when seing Liv walking barefoots in her vegetable garden, touching her plants, covering ground with hey, watering, weeding... care for things - so that they will serve us long and that ressourses of earth would be used well , care for each other, equal attention and care towards adults and children, men and women - connecting and communicating with awareness and responsibility for one's own feelings and actions.
• I am grateful for rich and diverse surrounding, nature here is just amasing! Here is everything - mountain with forest and big rocks, lake full of fishes just uphill the haus, forest behind the haus and berries in forest, meadow and open fields in front of haus.
• I am grateful for acceptance and room - being myself.
• I am grateful for nurturance - was feeded and given bed and space to work, play, live, balance my energy...
• Feel gratitude and inspiration for learning doing healthy business.
• I am grateful for learning finding joy in physical work again.
• Feel grateful meeting Swedish NVC community and learning that my needs and asking can be great gift to other people. Feel grateful for willingness of people to support NVC work in Estonia.